I’m procrastinating.

I’m smack dab in the middle of writing a term paper, but somehow wordpress seems much more inviting.

Well, I never really elaborated on these “opportunities” coming my way…

In late March, I applied for a youth ministy internship in Maui, Hawaii.  I would live out there for a year, working 50 hours per week in the church implementing and developing ministy curriculum, hanging out with the kids and building relationships with them, being mentored and taught about various aspects of youth ministry…the list goes on.  My parents are all for it.  I’m excited.  I practically pee’d my pants when I found out something like that existed.  They provide housing, transportation and a monthly stipend for food and other living expenses.  (I always feel like I want to go out for different experiences, but they all cost money, which as a college kid, I don’t have right now!)  I still haven’t heard anything, but I do know the position is still open.  And so, I wait.

Community college next semester?  That’s another option.  I have 4, maybe 5 classes to finish in order to get my Associate’s.  (I say maybe because I am in the process of disputing a grade.)  Some of those courses aren’t needed by the four year school I plan to transfer to.  So I figure why take them if I won’t even enjoy them?  (I’m not really up to taking another literature course, while also trying to juggle math and bio at the same time.)  And honestly?  I’m tired of this place.  So, so tired of it.  I’m tired of living at home.  I’m tired of the “same old, same old.”  I feel young and free.  I want to experience the world.  I want to move on in life.  I can’t take the normalcy much longer.

The four year school.  Awesome, but expensive.  I mean, I know I have to deal with looming college costs at some point.  I’ve managed to get through two years without paying much of anything, but I don’t know how much financial aid and scholarships I’ll be able to get in the future.  Moving away means adding ginormous bills for housing and food.  Plus, spending money for fun things I’ll want to do while I’m down there.  And I have to line up a job for myself before I go down so I’ll have a steady income. 

Other youth ministy internships that last for a year are available.  But the thing is, there’s tons!  Camden.  New York.  Alaska.  Tennessee.  It’s endless.  I don’t know where to start.  And I’m not sure if maybe I should get another year of schooling under my belt before I decide to take a year off for something like this, just so I’d have some formal ministry training in the classroom and another year to grow my relationship with the Lord.

Decisions, Decisions.  And big ones.  Thankfully, I am almost done with the semester and I’ll have some time to think about my options.  I’ve been in prayer about this stuff for awhile and I continue to be.  But I’m just not hearing from God on what he wants me to do.  Maybe he’s speaking and I’m not hearing, or maybe He’s being silent.  It’s hard to wait when so many things are unknown.

As a sidenote, I was forced to look for a summer job, since I currently work in the before and aftercare in two local elementary schools.  When the kids school year ends, so does my job until September.  So, I just found out yesterday I’ve been hired full time for the summer doing data entry.  It’s not the most glamorous, but the pay is good and hours are consistent.  And I really like the company and what they do.  I have a few friends who work there too, so it could even be fun!  I start May 19th.  Yay!

Alright…back to this paper on the declining population of Russia.  5 - 7 pages of it.  Joy.